by Rev. Ivan Stang
Part 1 of 3.
PRAIRIE SQUID RETRACTION
I don't seriously expect anyone to understand this. Those who claim to are lying! Once, a guy accused me of devil worship just because I said that Christianity, as it exists today, is the ONE WORLD ANTI-CHRIST SYSTEM PREDICTED IN THE BIBLE!!!! No, we're not supposed to know that THE ADVERSARY is not some grimy weirdo cranking out crack-pot rants in a filthy basement, or a Cult Leader wearing mystic symbols on an afternoon TV talk show. We're not supposed to know that the MANIACAL HATCHET FIEND is that quiet, harmless person who brings us such wonderful vegetables from their MIRACULOUSLY WELL-FERTILIZED GARDEN!!!
THAT SATAN INCARNATE ISN'T A HIDEOUS ABOMINATION FROM HELL, BUT A CLEAN-SCRUBBED, PINK-FACED, WIDE-GRINNED, NECKTIE-WEARING GOOD- NATURED TRUSTWORTHY SOUL WHO IS POCKETING HUGE AMOUNTS OF CASH FOR POISONING AND MURDERING MILLIONS, saying, "WE HAVE NO SCIENTIFIC EVIDENCE THAT THE TENFOLD ESCALATION OF HORRIBLE DEATH IN THE DIRECT VICINITY OF OUR PLANT HAS ANYTHING TO DO WITH THE BLACK SLUDGE LEAKING OUT OF OUR WASTE DUMP ONTO THE PLAYGROUND OF THE ELEMENTARY SCHOOL!!!"
No, we're not supposed to know that. BUT WE DO KNOW IT, and once you know something YOU CAN'T UNKNOW IT NO MATTER WHAT YOU DO. YOU CAN ONLY SPEND THE REST OF YOUR LIFE WISHING YOU COULD FORGET!!!
I'LL START MY DIET TOMORROW
Even the humans know personal doom is always right around the corner, not that they care to admit it. It could be war, mutually assured destruction, or nuclear accidents, or economic collapse, or the greenhouse effect, or race riots, or civil insurrection, or a comet, or ozone layer depletion, or drought, or epidemics, or typhoons and floods and tornados, or the New Ice Age, or the melting of the glaciers, or dust storms, or earthquakes, or falling radioactive space junk, or Third World Barbarian terrorists with H-bombs in their luggage, or sunspot radiation, or famine, or the lining up of the planets, or mutant viruses, or insect invasion, killer bees, nothing can stop them, or the contamination of the food chain, or the Men from Planet X, cattle mutilations, or space monsters, or oil spills, or mercury leaks, or the plutonium canisters rotting in the deep, or the stifling of photosynthesis and the death of all sea creatures, or simple overpopulation, or it could just be the ENDLESS SMOTHERING WAITING LINES.
Whatever combination it is, it'll probably be an improvement over business as usual, here in the mundane Conspiracy world, where They beat the dreams out of you and stuff Their pleasant nightmares down your soul, piped in twenty-four hours a day, through a hundred video channels clogged with the psychic silt of the Hollywood mind death delta!!
Suicide has become an art form. So has sniping. A cup of coffee and a can of creamed plankton costs half a million bucks. Goods are made so shoddily that even plastic fruit rots in the bowl. The lights are getting dim, the power bills are going up, it's getting colder, water comes from the tap in a thin brown stream that discolors your teeth and gums and shrivels your privates. One day you turn on the faucet and a blur of angry roaches streams out. 20 years worth of chemical waste is buried under your house...that may explain the headaches and Mrs. Brodie's Elephant Baby. Vandals, rape gorillas, dogmouth underlings...abject rush hour simian sub-men, bumper to bumper...You want to punish them all, to lash out in spectacular vengeance. But you feel as if some Great Liberal in the Sky is holding a bludgeon over you, exhorting you to behave. You can't find a place to live where They don't rub against you in your dreams. It's crowded, and the air is bad for your skin. It hurts when you breath, and there are certain neighborhoods where, unless you wear the Mark of the Beast, you aren't supposed to inhale at all. And there's NO PARKING.
But maybe you're rich, in a fugitive leisure world, getting soft, and the softness is killing you even more painfully because you have time to NOTICE. And the demons have a chance to notice you too: tobacco demons, alcohol demons, cancer demons, stress demons. Your guts ache, you don't have a light, your herb is moldy, your palms are clammy, your gas lines are leaking, your tongue is a wad of clay, you are paid to say things you hate. You have a cage for a head, and it has not been cleaned.
A life of compulsive consumption. The liberty to be just like everybody else. The pursuit of the happiness of the grave.
You look around and wonder, "Is everyone really this shallow, stupid, ignorant and naive, or is it me? Have I become so twisted and warped that I am no longer able to empathize or even communicate with most of the human race? Do I alone feel this hatred for the assholes who run our lives, this disgust with the PINK DUPES?"
But then you see those being senselessly lynched in the media, the workplace, the schoolyard, the market and the courts, and you realize, "YES! It is me, and yes, I am a mutant, and yes, the Pinks are all doomed and MOST OF ALL, I AM NOT ALONE IN THIS WAY OF THINKING!!!"
If only it were just you. Then They could kill you and move on. But it's the whole society...the whole planet. Everything, everywhere is getting worse. Reality itself is fraying at the edges. The Universe is not what it use to be; something's missing. "The center does not hold," as the Lakota used to say just before what's about to happen to you happened to them.
For this is the Age of the Unravelling...the AGE OF THEM.
No, it's not OK. "Civilization," for all it's fancy trimmings, is still just a rickety shack made by drunk stooges without a blueprint, a shack that will collapse when you least expect it. The foundation is ok but there has been some very sloppy workmanship.
Of course, to a certain extent it's natural for our society always to be screwed up: "if GOD didn't have a sense of humor, there wouldn't be people." But...not this screwed up.
It could so easily have been a PERFECT WORLD. We were supposed to be a shortcut in evolution, the "Catch 23" that would have prevented exactly the predicament we've found ourselves in. But the advancement of our quasi-mongrel semi-Yeti race has been relentlessly impeded through ceaseless persecution and repression by those who profit from senselessness, ignorance and mediocrity.
CONGRATULATIONS, HUMANS! YOU'VE SUCCESSFULLY HALTED YOUR OWN EVOLUTION AND GUARANTEED YOUR OWN DEMISE!
We'd be happy to chip in and help Them join our long lost friends, the dinosaurs, in the dreamless sleep of extinction...if only they weren't taking us along with them!!
Things didn't just "get" this way. Not even humans could cause so much trouble, by accident. It had to have been PLANNED. It's a CONSPIRACY. It's THE Conspiracy.
BUT, WHICH CONSPIRACY?
Is it the people who assassinated JFK and MLK? Or is it the Masons? Or the Satanists? Is it the MJ-12 Crashed UFO conspiracy, or the Alternative 3 conspiracy? Is it the fluoride in the water, the Watergate burglars, the International Jewish Bankers? What about those who killed Jimi, Janus and Jim? And John? And Paul? And Kurt? And Aunt Betty? And Uncle Sam? And Timmy's Hamster? Most of these can be tied to the basic CIA conspiracy, but...what about the liberal media conspiracy? How is it they are owned by Westinghouse, G.E., Disney and other parts of the conservative conspiracy? But then, all the conspiracies are so interlocked and interwoven that when you start looking into one, you inevitably end up being sucked into another and another.
One can endlessly explore the world of conspiracies, intricately detailing it's works, mapping it's eddies and flows, it's secret, subtle currents, it's dangers...but one risks succumbing to it's apparent friendliness and charm. For it contains within it so many infinitely varying conspiracies of fanatic interest that there's BOUND to be a conspiracy JUST RIGHT FOR YOU! There are certainly plenty to go around.
Yet none of these thousands of "little conspiracies" are nearly worthy of our grandiose, all-powering Hate. They're not part of the very AIR we BREATH, like the BIG conspiracy. They're real enough, but they themselves don't even know who they're really working for. Many of them even "mean well"! But all are just RAVENING MOUTHS for a vast hunger with no body.
The conspiracy that we truly hate, the real Conspiracy, isn't one of these fiendishly clever ones. It doesn't even know it's a conspiracy! It cant. It's a faceless confederacy of dunces, so vast and so broad that it underlies all the lesser conspiracies and permeates all human reality. Quite the opposite of devious, it dominates by merely exploiting the overall, mealy- mouthed, chickenbutt-kissing "Code of Normality" (or CON) of ALL the Pinks, norm-worms and mere-humes at large. There is no more insidious and subtle a weapon than that.
This Conspiracy has no face; we know it only by it's desires...a great Mirror of Disfigurement, it reflects what is wrong with everyone. Politics and the petty squabbles of nations are only part of what The Conspiracy manipulates. It is MUCH BIGGER than gods or demons, Republicans and Democrats, or Presidents and interlocking corporate directorates; it's everything from the school bully to the wimp principle, from Mom and Dad to the Bobbie in the Billybong.
More than anything else, The Conspiracy is an attitude - a fear - a PINKNESS. A cancer of the imagination, the hatred of the real, the yearning for "cuteness," the eagerness to obey... Oh sure, people LOVE new things - like Michael Jackson is "new" compared to The Beatles. But if, say, a REAL JESUS were to appear, well, it might look just a bit TOO new to be allowed to run loose for very long.
This fear of the unfamiliar permeates society; it's what let's the CON get away with REAL MURDER on a massive scale. Guaranteeing obedience requires little effort on the part of any Conspiracy "ringleaders"; the stinking Normals happily supply the obedience themselves. The obvious injustices and insanities written into law books by Illuminati bigwigs are insignificant compared to the little things - the unspoken agreement with the status-quo, the unthinking daily cowardice, the petty subtle put- downs, the judgmental gossip and all the mundane venalities that make up human nature: the Hanna-Barbera cartoons, the "infotainment" programs, those day-glo Rush Limbaugh bumper- stickers, the Caucasian Christians for Commerce, the grade school "Turn In Your Parents" program, the saccharine voice of "Barney," the fashion masters, O.J. Obsession, MTV-style hamburger commercials, the Denver Boot, Line Dancing, Professional Victims, Health Fascists, the Super Mario Brothers, Steven Speilberg, Chuck E. Cheese, Robert Dole, Mickey's Toontown, cute boxer shorts with "hip" designs, people who spell their names with all lower case letters, ect.
This nation, this WORLD is BLOATED and SWAYING DRUNKENLY with the stench of Pinkness on it's breath. So...it isn't YOUR fault if things just continue to go more and more wrong until one day you SNAP OUT OF IT and realize that there REALLY ARE billions of TORMENTED SOULS BURNING IN HELL, and YOU'RE ONE OF 'EM...That last, frantic, dying shriek of your soul going under will be the only sign that you have made the transition into the peaceful netherworld of blinkered Pink indifference.
WAKE UP AND SMELL THE SODIUM PENTOTHAL!! IT'S WHAT YOU DON'T SEE THAT SELLS YOU
But why should the Pinks worry? Even if there was a Conspiracy (yuk, yuk), it wouldn't be after them, would it? "I pay my taxes," they think. "I obey the law. I'm not strange or out of the ordinary. Why should I care?" And they're right. The Conspiracy doesn't have to "get them" because THEY'VE BEEN HAD ALL ALONG. That ring has been in their nose so long that the scars have completely healed and even a sharp YANK on the chain doesn't hurt anymore. They're safe all right. Safe as a fish in a seafood restaurant tank.
THE PAVEMENT OF HELL ROAD
If you read the ingredients on the packaged life of Joe Average you'll find a smattering of greed, stress and partially hydrolyzed brain cells, but mostly artificial flavoring and coloring. Pinks are the Homo sapiens equivalent of pasteurized, aerosol cheese food product. One would think this would render them harmless; many of them actually pride themselves on their harmlessness - but because the fabric of their reality is built on ignorance and mangled instincts, the sum of all their actions, taken together, perpetuates the vicious cycle of "dog-eat-dog."
Thus the seedy underbelly of the suburbs is a Pink Ghetto, a zombie zoo afloat in Prozac, cost/efficiency feasibility studies, sloppy alcoholic wives, terror-stricken execs and their damaged offspring. A culture of yes-bots and pushy assholes who started out believing the myths of Positive Thinking and Freedom of Speech, and then were violently disillusioned so thoroughly that they lost all hope and played right into the hands of The Conspiracy and it's Great Answer: "Grab what you can and FUCK the other guy!" You know who I'm talking about, MR PINK BOY, SIR! Mr "Conspiracy? BUNKUM!", SIR! Ms All-Men-Are-Rapists, MA'AM! Mr Closet Nazi Corporate Executive, SIR! Ms Psychic Friends Hotline Network Caller, MA'AM! Mr Water It Down, Sell-Any-Kind- Of-Crap, Mind Control, Media Programmer, SIR! Ms Oprah-Watching, Tabloid-Reading, Twelve-Stepping Zombie, MA'AM! Ms Realtor Of The Year, MA'AM! Mr Filthy Rich TV Evangelist, SIR! Ms Mother's March Against Pornography, or Rock Lyrics, or Library Books, or Youth, or...whatever, MA'AM! Mr Secular Neophyte, Mr Head Crusher, Mr Normal, SIR, YES SIR!!!
The Conspiracy is not vengeful. It has nothing against you PERSONALLY; you're being persecuted and hobbled by people who couldn't care less about who you are. The hive automatically protects itself from evolution by negating any individuals whose circuits are too "resonate." All evolutionaries are by definition "insane."
But insane is a relative term. Ironically, the conspiracy hive venerates the lunatics of the past while killing the lunatics of the present to prevent the lunatics of the future. The image of the dead lunatic becomes the medicine dispensed by the pharmacy. The image of the future lunatic - "THIS IS WHAT YOU SHOULD FEAR" - becomes the sickness sold by the pharmacy. Today's sickness is tomorrow's medicine, a vaccine composed of dead intelligence. Galileo, Socrates, Jesus...Conspiracy persecuted lunatics of the past...Conspiracy icons today.
The modern Conspiracy hive functions just like the old Mayan hives, with smug priests, brutal warrior castes and larval Pink masses quivering in mortal fear of nature and power. But this time around it's the Pink's own fault: they willingly devolve into their consumerist shell while the untapped knowledge of the sages is right in front of their faces...dripping from their noses, running down their chins.
CRIMES OF THE CONSPIRACY
The Conspiracy had the trust and forthrightness to inform us that, pointed at every single one of us, was a nuclear weapon with a hair trigger - but that was okay, because we all had one pointed at somebody over there, too, and if anybody ever used any of them, the whole world would be destroyed.
If the nukes were something They wanted us to know about, just think of the aces up Their sleeves that They aren't mentioning! But Their secrets are safe, as long as They keep drawing our attention away with decoy nightmares. As long as Congress stays busy investigating how the money was laundered for Iran-Contra or Whitewater, nobody will ask irksome questions about the corporate slave colonies springing up throughout the Third World.
Funny how these endless trials over a "shadow government" always end in mistrials or pardons. Funny how the AIDS virus "came from green monkeys," "has no cure," but in it's entire history has not infected a single Senator, Congressman, Cabinet member, or head of industry. Funny how the drugs that are most sure to kill and cripple people are sold at every convenience store. And talk about funny - how bout the weather lately? In some parts it goes from rain forest to desert in just a few hours.
There are a lot fewer KINDS of life around, suddenly. An electromagnetic "poison" is leaking from our wiring that science can't admit to without admitting gross ignorance. You get tired easier. Everyone already has cancer, and every time you leave the house you get a new disease. The world's population, but not it's food supply, will double in twenty years, then in ten years, then it will double every time you get laid - if that is still legal and survivable by then. (Ha, Ha, Ha! Cut it out! You're killing me!)
Speaking of sex, one in two adults say they were abused as children. 40% of American women have been raped by their "dates." A third of AIDS carriers have not bothered to tell their lovers and spouses. Half of the U.S. says there's no reason ever to get married, and 82% say they probably wouldn't marry the same person again. (And yet, only three percent of them had affairs.) 95% don't know their neighbors. 68% have been victims of major crimes. 86% favor capitol punishment, but only 2% would volunteer to throw the electric chair switch. (1)
Meanwhile, people with critical jobs like teachers, fire- fighters and nurses make barley more than minimum wage, so that ADMINISTRATORS can get $265,000 a year for needlessly interfering! But let's not lose perspective. Only 10% of the people on this planet earn more than $14,000 a year. 27% make between $2,000 and $14,000. (Or the equivalent in local currency; donkeys, wives, ect.) But the majority of Earth's bipeds, 62%, pull down a mean $0 to $2,000 from The Conspiracy for a year's worth of grunt work. (1)
But saving the world is expensive. For instance, look at the cost for universal, planetary child immunization against six major diseases, saving millions of lives a year for say, five years. 1.4 TRILLION dollars.(2) That's almost as expensive as a TRIDENT SUBMARINE!! Let's get our priorities straight here! Besides...do all those kids really WANT to live? Do YOU really want them to live? Thirty of them, PER MINUTE, are going to perish miserably of STARVATION, ANYWAY, leaving more for YOU.
As Bucky Fuller pointed out, "the problem isn't production, but distribution. Enough dead babies are being produced, but seeing that everyone gets the amount they need is a problem capitalism hasn't solved."
Smooth fat suit-wearing witchdoctors selling socially approved drug-dependence on prime-time while sexually frigid bourgeois self-pity-mongers pay the "justice" department to shoot kids in the back for jaywalking!! Complain about pollution and They charge you for Their perfect solution: They remove your brain, plug up your rectum and fill your skull with dioxin.
God-given individual right (rite) to meditate taken away while world-spanning corporate snake-monsters pop uranium zits and tax us for the "privilege" of having the radioactive puss buried in our backyards-brains-bloodstreams-souls!!
End. Part 1 of 3. Part 2
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